Neglectful parent to the point she put her target’s (me) needs before theirs and they were little. Why can’t I just be angry and not want him around me? He sounds eerily similar to the man you are describing. He had admitted at the beginning that he had one affair on her two decades ago, sought marriage counseling and had never repeated it, even though they had both had “emotional affairs” with others over the years. I was searching on Internet and I discovered Personality disorder bingo he has these traits. There are more as well. The entire situation was very hurtful and damaging. My only chance at happiness. YOU can do THIS. He lied constantly. THIS IS NOT NORMAL! I Think This Is Bipolar Disorder: All the Facts, Coping with Bipolar Disorder: 5 Self-Help Strategies, Combating Drowsiness Caused by Antipsychotics. I get crazy because of him I just am trying to help him and I want him better so he can see that vulnerability and love are amazing . I can remember being very confused by her anger, saying to my friends that “the punishment just doesn’t fit the crime.”. He was a quite newly divorced(as in ink still wet) educated professional who possessed uncanny similarities and was looking for a serious relationship. Seems radically unfair to me. Last fall, my group of girlfriends hinted to me of a guy who had been asking around about me. If you are an adult entering into a new relationship, the clues that your charmer is a narcissist is generally there from the start. They both try to hoover me every six months to a year, like clockwork. We simply just wanted all the same things at all the same time. Because no one really knows what happened. never asked if i was hungry or needed clothes or shampoo or anything. And it continued to escalate, multiple contacts per day texts, emails, phone calls, (some five or more hours). I want to see him and I look at him like is he going to do this to me again and please don’t because I will never hurt you because I’m so caring and loving . We started all over again with nothing, and I left my business because he had caused so much financial damage I couldn’t keep up. I would not do what he wanted. Or, how long does the honeymoon phase last? My boss accused me of mixing personal and work issues and that she had every right to date whoever she wanted. It has been so painful. As a result of the fear you will be subjected to, you will find yourself becoming highly vigilant, nervous and overly sensitive to every threat, walking on eggshells around your captor. There are many many red flags. Did she run my fuel tank dry, and then seek out some new source of energy? planned a family type summer get away, OMG that trip was amazing, the spark was there and he decided that he is moving to my city. You are stronger then you know. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. The same cycle you’ve been living is what your children would be put thru. The job is not to change anything, but just observe. Year after year, week after week, I watched and witnessed as she paraded around with her new set of friends: the popular girls in church. I’m now wondering if he has learned from them and has changed. When I questioned him, of course, he deflected it back on me. That was the end. Oh – I cried every day for 60 days. I did fall in love with him, in spite of those red flags. ReGain is an online relationship counseling platform. At best I had to think he is not capable of a relationship. After treating me as the best thing since sliced bread during our courtship, like he couldn’t believe his luck, he switched completely once we were married. this all just happened and i truthfully feel shocked, emotionally violated and scared! Leaving a narcissist is worse than living with one. I didn’t feel like he asked much about me and my background- but it was ok. Now I’m the other woman. Expensive Gifts, flowers, said I love you, wanted kids, a future with me, we were soul mates. The period of calm after an abusive event is called the honeymoon phase. That is a really good question. Psych Central does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. One day I told him: you said in the beginning that you LOVED sex but you deny sex because of small issues. I was very upset and sent him a message explaining how I felt…hurt, and disrespected and asked for clarification. I wanted this as well, and really did enjoy taking care of them. . Also, he called me one day from work literally crying that his co-workers reported him for yelling at them and that he wished to completely change fields due to this incident. Why people never take responsibility for their actions? But I will never understand how someone can say they love you, make a commitment, and begin planning a future with you and suddenly flip a switch and skip on about life like nothing ever happened. Rage is a destructive action. Total break down, and a little relief. According to experts, the average time the honeymoon phase lasts is around three months, but it can absolutely be longer or shorter depending on the relationship. This has all left me devastated. Unsure if I should just leave it at the door or if that will make me look needy. I asked her why she did what she did to me.